Mary Gibbons, LMFT

I love me, work on me, and build myself up so that I can come to you from a position of wholeness, a position of fullness. I take care of me, so that you don’t have to. From fullness I can empty myself, my gifts, my love, my actions, for your ultimate benefit...therefore, as a steward of my greatest gift, my life, I need to take steps to ensure my health, calmness of mind, my sanity, and my own validation as a person in the world. Thus, I can free you from having to provide ...those things. Thus, I can truly serve you without needing you to serve me. Bernard of Clairvaux as adapted by Hal Runkel via Scream Free Parenting This does not mean we have to carry all our burdens alone...Much of this work is done through supportive relationships. It DOES mean that we put enough work into healing our hurts and vulnerabilities that we don’t desperately cling to validation from others (children, spouse, peers). Our self is strong enough and grounded enough (perhaps in our faith, where applicable) that we know how to rest on the inside rather than demanding that our rest comes from the outside. This is not some cheap plug for hedonistic self-care. This requires hard fought, deep self-work. It is the antithesis of it is what it is. What would your parenting, marriage, work relationships, and friendships look like if you focused on yourself this way? #selfcare #fourdegreesoflove #screamfreeparenting #screamfreemarriage #bernardofclairvaux #marriageandfamilytherapy #mft

One way that I’ve found for people to safely explore emotion is through considering what their younger self needed. Building self compassion and empathy in this way allows for greater grace, emotional attunement, and responsibility taking in our adult relationships, self-relationship, and parenting. (Repost: @gentleparenting_memes)

As much as 80% of adult ‘success’ comes from Emotional Intelligence (EQ)-Daniel Goleman. So what is Emotional Intelligence? A few attributes include: -accurately identifying emotion -understanding triggers and escalators of emotion... -healthy coping with emotion -TOLERANCE of emotion -ability to communicate emotions, needs, and vulnerabilities -ability to stay present/tune-in to others’ emotions...even difficult ones See more

Myths regarding emotion: -Emotions aren’t valuable. I can think/problem solve my way out of this. -Emotions are scary. If I allow myself to feel angry/sad/grief/loneliness, I’ll never come out of it or I’ll feel out of control. -I don’t know how I feel, exactly. It’s like my anger/depression/anxiety comes out of nowhere.... -Talking about how I feel doesn’t fix the problem. There’s just no point. Reality: emotional intelligence is one of the most important factors in success. Many studies support this in both personal and professional settings. My next few posts will shed some light on EMOTION and why gaining comfort with the landscape of emotion is so important. #emotionalintelligence #mft #marriageandfamilytherapy #traumatherapy

As I’ve created a public, professional Instagram page, I’ve become more aware of the posts that come up about Growing your online presence. I’ve already noticed people following and then unfollowing simply to get their profile noticed in a frantic attempt to connect, grow a sense of value/purpose through their accounts, or make a name for themselves. Out of curiosity, I searched some tips for growing your online presence. Here are some things that I found: -interact ...with your audience -understand/care about your audience -engage, engage, engage! -give a personal touch -handle complaints well -be proactive -ask for feedback I can’t help but wonder...what would our lives and communities look like if we put these same principles to work in our real-life relationships rather than focusing on boosting our cyber selves? What if we spent as much time developing our real-world selves as we do fine-tuning how we’re perceived on social media? What if we truly cared out those we talked to...even when they have different viewpoints? What if we were proactive in initiating connection? What if we learned how to handle conflict well and then STAY in proximity to difficult people or circumstances? What if we stayed grounded and engaged in our day-to-day lives? On my worst days, the things that keep me from doing these things are: 1) lazinessconnection takes effort! 2) allowing everyday burdens to bog me downnumbing out via social media is easier than managing our daily stressors, and 3) selfishnessI’d rather other people try to connect with me rather than reaching out to others. What is it that keeps you from truly engaging with the people and circumstances in your life? What are some steps you can take right now to stay engaged and grounded?

FORGIVENESS. This is great, y’all. % go check out all of @sarafcassidy ‘s take on forgiveness as a process. She breathes life, grace, and vulnerability into such a difficult concept.

Great tips from @phillycouplestherapist on finding a therapist. I have SO MANY clients that call me after having an unhelpful experience with a therapist in which they were validated and supported, but no change happened. Effective therapy requires more than just having someone to vent to. When setting up services, don’t be afraid to ask questions about experience, methods, and expertise. Your clinician should be able to easily explain methods and modalities for creating des...ired change. Effective therapy moves you towards a destination. It creates skills that allow you to live independently from therapy (returning when necessary). If you’re spinning your wheels, it may be time to talk with your therapist or find a new provider. #therapy #findingatherapist #marriageandfamilytherapy #mentalhealth

Follow my new Instagram account @marygibbonslmft for regular mental health tidbits... Welcome! My name is Mary Gibbons. I am a licensed Marital and Family Therapist. I keep my practice low volume so that adequate care can go into the clients that I serve. I work with a wide variety of clientele, but my primary focus is on enhancing meaningful relationships within families and couples and the treatment of traumarelational, acute, and childhood/complex. I often work with clie...nts with a religious background and believe that faith is an integral part of healing trauma and other stressors. I hope to share tips and tricks from the mental health world that encourage mindfulness, self-reflection, more satisfying relationships, and greater well-being. Stay tuned, friends Instagram: @marygibbonslmft #marriageandfamilytherapy #trauma #therapist #therapy #couples See more

Consider this your friendly reminder to try and not use Santa or presents as a threat to gain compliance from children this season, even though it can be tempti...ng. The Santa myth is closely tied to how kids develop a sense of how their parents love them and to their early faith development. I would argue that neither the love of a parent or of God should be dependent on whether you’re naughty or nice. We give presents because we love our kids, not because they’ve earned them. See more

Love this city. Love this work. Ask me about trauma + faith integration in therapy.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BpP_OX3nk6Z/

Don't be afraid to ask your friend/loved one if they've thought about suicide or self-harm. Depression breeds in isolation. Reach out, refer, and offer support. It can make all the difference.

*Please like and share* After some time of for family leave, I am back in the office and accepting new clients. Finding a good fit for a therapist is essential for treatment success. If you've been considering getting started with counseling, take the first step to set up a free 10 minute consultation call to see if we're a good fit. Space is limited.... I accept Healthchoice, United Healthcare, Healthcare Highways, Aetna, Compsych EAP, out-of-network, and private pay clients.

EMDR has many studies demonstrating its effectiveness in treating trauma as well as a wide variety of other presenting problems. The vast majority of my clients that have incorporated it into their treatment have seen positive effects. Could it be right for you?

I love me, work on me, and build myself up so that I can come to you from a position of wholeness, a position of fullness. I take care of me, so that you don’t have to. From fullness I can empty myself, my gifts, my love, my actions, for your ultimate benefit...therefore, as a steward of my greatest gift, my life, I need to take steps to ensure my health, calmness of mind, my sanity, and my own validation as a person in the world. Thus, I can free you from having to provide ...those things. Thus, I can truly serve you without needing you to serve me. Bernard of Clairvaux as adapted by Hal Runkel via Scream Free Parenting This does not mean we have to carry all our burdens alone...Much of this work is done through supportive relationships. It DOES mean that we put enough work into healing our hurts and vulnerabilities that we don’t desperately cling to validation from others (children, spouse, peers). Our self is strong enough and grounded enough (perhaps in our faith, where applicable) that we know how to rest on the inside rather than demanding that our rest comes from the outside. This is not some cheap plug for hedonistic self-care. This requires hard fought, deep self-work. It is the antithesis of it is what it is. What would your parenting, marriage, work relationships, and friendships look like if you focused on yourself this way? #selfcare #fourdegreesoflove #screamfreeparenting #screamfreemarriage #bernardofclairvaux #marriageandfamilytherapy #mft

One way that I’ve found for people to safely explore emotion is through considering what their younger self needed. Building self compassion and empathy in this way allows for greater grace, emotional attunement, and responsibility taking in our adult relationships, self-relationship, and parenting. (Repost: @gentleparenting_memes)

As much as 80% of adult ‘success’ comes from Emotional Intelligence (EQ)-Daniel Goleman. So what is Emotional Intelligence? A few attributes include: -accurately identifying emotion -understanding triggers and escalators of emotion... -healthy coping with emotion -TOLERANCE of emotion -ability to communicate emotions, needs, and vulnerabilities -ability to stay present/tune-in to others’ emotions...even difficult ones See more

Myths regarding emotion: -Emotions aren’t valuable. I can think/problem solve my way out of this. -Emotions are scary. If I allow myself to feel angry/sad/grief/loneliness, I’ll never come out of it or I’ll feel out of control. -I don’t know how I feel, exactly. It’s like my anger/depression/anxiety comes out of nowhere.... -Talking about how I feel doesn’t fix the problem. There’s just no point. Reality: emotional intelligence is one of the most important factors in success. Many studies support this in both personal and professional settings. My next few posts will shed some light on EMOTION and why gaining comfort with the landscape of emotion is so important. #emotionalintelligence #mft #marriageandfamilytherapy #traumatherapy

As I’ve created a public, professional Instagram page, I’ve become more aware of the posts that come up about Growing your online presence. I’ve already noticed people following and then unfollowing simply to get their profile noticed in a frantic attempt to connect, grow a sense of value/purpose through their accounts, or make a name for themselves. Out of curiosity, I searched some tips for growing your online presence. Here are some things that I found: -interact ...with your audience -understand/care about your audience -engage, engage, engage! -give a personal touch -handle complaints well -be proactive -ask for feedback I can’t help but wonder...what would our lives and communities look like if we put these same principles to work in our real-life relationships rather than focusing on boosting our cyber selves? What if we spent as much time developing our real-world selves as we do fine-tuning how we’re perceived on social media? What if we truly cared out those we talked to...even when they have different viewpoints? What if we were proactive in initiating connection? What if we learned how to handle conflict well and then STAY in proximity to difficult people or circumstances? What if we stayed grounded and engaged in our day-to-day lives? On my worst days, the things that keep me from doing these things are: 1) lazinessconnection takes effort! 2) allowing everyday burdens to bog me downnumbing out via social media is easier than managing our daily stressors, and 3) selfishnessI’d rather other people try to connect with me rather than reaching out to others. What is it that keeps you from truly engaging with the people and circumstances in your life? What are some steps you can take right now to stay engaged and grounded?